Doris and Mona Spend the Night by Alex

Doris and Mona is a segment brought to you by Alex and her friend Allison and accessories and props from the store they work at. These are the displays they make, and these are their stories. 

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'Breaking Bad' Recap: Crystal Blue Persuasion by Alex Snider

Well, now that was a lot to digest. For a show whose episodes only span 45 minutes each, the writers manage to really cram a lot into that 3/4 hour. Here we had the murder of 10 men in 2 minutes in one of the most gruesome prison stabbing scenes I've ever witnessed (certainly outside of GOB and White Power Bill), the expansion of Vamonos Pests (Vamonos Pest?) into Czech Republic, what I thought was going to be a cross-over episode with Storage Wars (really disappointed that I was wrong on that one), the retirement of Walt, the return of Walt's cancer, the reunion of the White family, the change up in Marie's standard purple wardrobe and Hank finally getting his "oh shit" moment. The plot took great leaps forward and still there were so many call-backs that it almost felt like a clips episode. There was the fly from season 3, the banged up towel dispenser from season 2, the painting also from the second season, the ricin made its way back to the forefront again and of course, Leaves of Grass made a Chekhovian like reappearance (anytime a book of poetry is seen in the first episode, it will be used to incriminate a drug kingpin by the last?).

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Happy Blue Moon! by Alex

It's a blue moon tonight! All those things that only happen once in a blue moon will finally happen tonight! SO EXCITED! Plus, it's kind of witchy! It will be the last blue moon until 2015 so you all had better appreciate it and do something super special, the pressure is on. I'm going to make a banner probably, maybe, and will definitely be dressed entirely in blue. The moon will actually be blue, right?

"For Her" Products I'd Like to See by Alex

Thanks to Bic and their pens For Her, I can finally write comfortably within my gender. Let's just say that I've been playing an awful lot of MASH since I invested in a package. (Hey Idris, I'll be seeing you soon in our shack where we'll raise four children after honeymooning in Hawaii!) Now, there are a lot of products out there that back up that precious gender binary (I just fashioned a humane mouse trap using Scotch tape from a high heel dispenser) and keep perpetuating all those lady stereotypes (thank god, because without those products and advertising and the various media I'd probably forget to do things like clean and nag and dance on the beach during my period – assuming I'm having a happy one, of course), but the fact that someone only just got around to coming up with a pink pen for fancy ladies like me who don't care for the coarse masculinity of the traditional blue or black Bic tells me that there are still products out there that could use some feminine rebranding. I'm but a simple woman, I don't even have a background in marketing (lol, I'm such a Peggy Olson!), but I've taken some time from trying to find a husband to put a baby in me and trying to figure out how to protect myself from bears when I have my period to come up with some everyday products that I feel would enhance my life if only they were made with women in mind:

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Breaking Bad Recap: Ballad of the Sad Cafe by Alex

I read a news story last week about a Chinese couple who upon returning home thought that their house had been turned upside down by robbers – an overturned table, possessions rifled. When Xu Xianmin and his wife investigated they discovered that it was not thieves that had broken in but that it was a giant catfish who had ransacked their home. Strangely, the couple lives in a residential neighbourhood nowhere near water. The reason I tell this story is to relate how incredible animals are, how they can do anything and how we must never underestimate them. Take the time a raccoon stole my friend's wallet. Or the time Mike zip-tied Walt to a radiator. Animals, driven by their ingenuity and desperation, find a way. Walt has become that cornered animal, previously thought harmless (although the viewer has long known better), the cornered animal not defending his life, freedom or young but instead defending his empire.

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Breaking Bad Recap: Arrival of a Train at the Station By Alex

First of all, I've been watching a lot of The X-Files lately (mostly because of Baby) and who should show up as a plucky US Marshall but Uncle Hank! Pretty exciting! Also a bit of an x-file how Dean Norris has not aged at all since at least 1994. Spooky. 

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Baby Saga: A Happy, Sad, Happy Story by Alex

This is Baby.

Keepin' it casual

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Breaking Bad Recap: The Fair Ophelia! Be All My Sins Remembered By Alex

Ok, you are all probably going to think less of me but there was a time in my life when I was young and foolish and just had kind of questionable taste overall (I drank a lot of Southern Comfort and thought nothing of making out with brothers – not at the same time but still, brothers!) but I once thought that Aztecs were sort of ok. That's terrible, right? Nah, I'm totally kidding! Fooled you! Never thought they were cool! Certainly not because you had the option of attaching a tent to the back. A tent, guys, to the back of your car! But, no, Aztecs are totally uncool... Just camp outside. On the ground. Make it easy for the bears. I also once wanted nothing more than to own and drive a Jeep. Yep.

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Olympians to Know: Gabby Douglas by Alex

Gabby Douglas is the first African-American woman to win the all-round title in women's gymnastics. The first  Black woman in history. Amazing. The 16-year-old won gold in both the individual and team events. Watch this video of all her routines from the US Olympic team trials. She is flawless. And so super charming I want to be best friends with her. That smile!

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(Major) Minor Victories by Rebekah

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Breaking Bad Recap: Dead Mackerel Eyes, Full Hearts Can't Lose by Alex

Are there people out there who are watching Breaking Bad and thinking, "yeah, I'd like to see Walt as the last man standing. I'd like to see him take out Hank and Mike and Jesse and live out his years caring about nothing but treats and snoozing by Don Eladio's pool"? Are there? People who are like, "Walt is awesome and I want him to win all the money and power and fuck Skyler and Walt Jr and baby Holly and family breakfast". I'm just curious because Walt has reached such levels of villainy that he makes ol' Tony Soprano look like Andy Griffith. This switch from anti-hero-hero to villain is pretty brilliant. It's like watching the Bachelor and despising one of the bachelorettes, argh, so, so, so much but not enough to want her sent home – she's the life of the party, yo – but that bitch better not get the final rose or diamond or Hawaiian honeymoon or whatever prize one gets when she's the last lady standing in the Thunderdome. Basically, Walt has become Boston Rob.

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Doris and Mona Put a Hot Air Balloon On It (As Related by Wes Anderson) by Alex and Allison

Doris and Mona is a segment brought to you by Alex and her friend Allison and accessories and props from the store they work at. These are the displays they make, and these are their stories. 

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'Breaking Bad' Recap: The Crystal Ship Mutiny? by Alex Snider

asdlfakjhoijlkj!!! I am so excited to be writing about a show that I am love-watching and not hate-watching (here's looking at you, The Walking Dead)! There be spoilers, here!

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'Walking Dead' Season Three Trailer Posted by Alex

Looks considerably better than last season's mythical forest ennui but lol Entertainment Weekly: "The greatest thriller ever produced for television". Did anyone else have a really hard time figuring out who the blond girl was? It took me the whole trailer to remember Hershel's silent family of extras. Congrats Hershel daughter, you just got more lines than T-Dogg had in the whole second season! But it was nice to see old T-Dogg again although by the looks of it he's gonna get ate or be just as ignored as he was at the farm. Plus Merle's back! Did not see that coming. 

Vacation Day One: Should've Stayed in Bed by Alex Snider

You have taken the Toronto–Winnipeg flight dozens of times. You have taken the subway–bus route to get to the airport just as many. IT IS SO EASY. But, you being you, you procrastinate and, you not being you, pack and get prepared early so when it's time to leave you are in a frenzy over your missing iPod, which is already tucked into your carryon. You leave at 4:37, your flight is at 6. You miss check-in. You miss your flight. (By only five minutes.) You have flown too close to the sun and like Icarus, you are denied flight.

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There Used to Be a Building There: A (Brief) Photo Essay on the Changing View from my Living Room Posted by Alex Snider

Goodbye, old friend.

NXNE Day Five: The Things We Carried by Alex

I found this plant stand on the street, while walking to meet my friends for brunch at The Lakeview yesterday. I carried it when I went to pick up my bike at The Garrison, where I left it the night before (so responsible, no drinking and riding! Totally kidding, my friend made me leave it and paid for the cab, while I cursed him). I carried it to the park where we saw the amazing Army Girls and adorable Luke LeLonde and Gregory Pepper (who had a song about suicide that my girl Dorothy Parker would have seriously dug). I sat beside it while I longed to join in on the frisbee circle that was happening beyond us, the competition burning my soul. I carried it to shelter when it started to rain and we were struck up for conversation by an artist/writer/bike visionary ("it handles like a Porsche", dude, that's duct tape) who is writing a realistic moralistic horror romance and had with him Twilight, his rat with a massive butt tumour. My friends carried it on the streetcar to Yonge and Dundas Square, where I locked it to my bike and stuck the pots in my bag and rocked it the fuck out to Killer Mike and Ghostface and Raekwon (!!!!!!!! SO, SO, SO, SO GOOD!). 

I continued carrying it after two of the pots were smashed by some of the 8000 people at YDS. I carried it on my bike to The Village Idiot and explained to our server that yes, it was street garbage but I love it and yes, we had already used it to keep our park beers in. I cursed it when said server used that as a talking point every time he swung by and also insisted on getting as close as he could to me without actually touching me. I carried it home, fingers crossed that I wouldn't need to brake or use my bell; I rode one handed the whole way doing bicep curls because I have been too busy with NXNE to keep up with my weightlifting routine. I am now going to have to keep this thing with me forever, it's like our bond was forged in the fires of Mordor but in a happy way.

Then and Now by Alex

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The Saddest Watering Can in the World Posted by Alex

Elephant watering can with drippy eye-glue? Absolutely. Never change, Honest Ed's, never change. Shit, she looks so soulful.

NXNE Day Three: It was Preciously Woven With Zooey Deschanel's Eyelashes by Alex Snider

Well yesterday was pretty great, even in addition to cancer-free bills of health, with the Elwins in the park, amazing comedy at the St Lawrence Centre for the Arts and then the F-Holes at the Monarch Tavern to wrap it all up.

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