Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Antelope or Tough Life Lessons by Alex Snider

This is a conversation that happened between my friend, A., and a middle-aged customer at the boutique we work at.

Customer (in the midst of spending an hour deciding between two handbags and talking us through her entire thought process): It's really important to me to know what a product is made from.

A.: Uh-huh, of course.

Customer: You just have to be careful.

A.: Absolutely.

Customer: Because, you know, I have a pair of El Naturalistas that I bought here and one day I looked at the box and, well, I couldn't believe it but the box says antelope. (Leans in, whispers) The shoes are made from antelope.

A.: No, no, no! Are they yellow shoes?

Customer: Yes.

A.: Well, antelope just refers to the colour. They're not made from antelopes!

Customer: Oh thank goodness! I just felt sick! I couldn't imagine wearing a pair of shoes made from an animal.

A.: ...Well they're leather.

Customer: Yes?

A.: Leather? 

Customer: (blank, but expectant stare)

A.: Leather comes from cows.

Customer: (look of HORROR)

Long story short, the customer will no longer be wearing her El Naturalistas. The handbags she was looking at were both suede-lined, though. 

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