Really, Colbert? Really? by Alex Snider

Oh man, how disappointing is it when someone, in this huge world filled with jerks, you admire lets you down? Take for instance, last night on the Colbert Report, when Stephen Colbert talked about Obama endorsing the United Nations' Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous People  (ok, horrifyingly enough, the declaration is from 2007). 



First off, why is Obama just endorsing it now and why the fuck did it take until 2007 to be adopted by the UN?? Oh man, the more I read on this the more punch-y I feel. More on this later.) and how this upsets Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association -- writer of such thought provoking, Onion-worthy pieces like how giving the medal of honor for saving lives is feminizing the award because it should be given for killing (this article exists, I'm not paraphrasing; do not click on the link if you do not want your brain to explode with rage although reading the comments helps redeem my faith in humanity.). Fischer came out with this lil' gem, in which he petulantly, whilst stomping his feet I can only imagine, sputters that, "...President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords". 


Colbert, understandably took issue with the hamster-on-a-squeaky-wheel-like ramblings from this silly little man and in his usual style mocked him to great laughter from his audience. What really stuck in my craw, however, were the parts where Colbert, in keeping with his Fox News pundit schtick, kept referring to the same old, tired, nay, fucking exhausted, stereo-types about North American Indigenous people. The whole segment was peppered with stupid, politically incorrect comments like, "(t)hey might build burial grounds on top of our sacred malls!", but the kicker for me was the finishing bit:

I’ve got a few choice words for our Indian Overlords: How. Me, Big Chief Hips Like Woman honored to be your humble servant. Waited many moons to join new empire. Me have great hair, please no scalpum. Me one of you. Share your values. Me use every part of animal, in that I eat Slim Jim. Heap big sodium nitrate. Me movum on. 

What the fucking fuck, dude?! I know that your whole thing is satire but this is just as offensive coming from your character as it would be coming from the deranged horse's mouth that is Bryan Fischer. Your stupid, ill-thought out at best; ignorant at worst comments are perpetrating the myth that Indigenous people are either extinct or trapped in some kind of wormhole, time conundrum that has preserved them and their culture as perfect relics. 


Just like the headdress wearing hipster who claims not to be racist, I'm sure that you don't actually think that "Indians" speak this way but your glib words hurt some and influence others. 


If you're in Canada, the whole clip is here. Americans, here. Rest of you, my apologies, but you're on your own.