"For Her" Products I'd Like to See by Alex

Thanks to Bic and their pens For Her, I can finally write comfortably within my gender. Let's just say that I've been playing an awful lot of MASH since I invested in a package. (Hey Idris, I'll be seeing you soon in our shack where we'll raise four children after honeymooning in Hawaii!) Now, there are a lot of products out there that back up that precious gender binary (I just fashioned a humane mouse trap using Scotch tape from a high heel dispenser) and keep perpetuating all those lady stereotypes (thank god, because without those products and advertising and the various media I'd probably forget to do things like clean and nag and dance on the beach during my period – assuming I'm having a happy one, of course), but the fact that someone only just got around to coming up with a pink pen for fancy ladies like me who don't care for the coarse masculinity of the traditional blue or black Bic tells me that there are still products out there that could use some feminine rebranding. I'm but a simple woman, I don't even have a background in marketing (lol, I'm such a Peggy Olson!), but I've taken some time from trying to find a husband to put a baby in me and trying to figure out how to protect myself from bears when I have my period to come up with some everyday products that I feel would enhance my life if only they were made with women in mind:

Paper -- I mean, come on! Having to write between blue lines with my pink pen? Welcome to the patriarchy. And women cannot be expected to write without lines, so complicated, so messy and we women hate messes that can't be cleaned up with a Swiffer or under the supervison of a towering bald man. Obviously there are some bigger issues facing women than whether or not the lines on foolscap are upholding gender binaries but how can we fight the big injustices when paper clashes with our gender appropriate pens??

Cars -- This one is just more a curtosy for men so that they can see easily which cars are being driven by women and proceed with extreme caution.
 

Utensils -- Really all kitchenware should be divided into pink for her and then everything else for him. I can't believe that it's not already given that the kitchen is a woman's natural melieu unless she is one of those elusive manic pixie dream girl breeds. Since I don't have children or a man to cook for I mostly just eat ice cream right from the tub while rereading Cathy comics so I would only require For Her flatware. With instructions because -- ladies, how many of you are with me -- the amount of times I've struggled to shovel icecream into my mouth with the handle of the spoon! lol!

Good luck to all my ladies out there; it's a man's world.