The Walking Dead: And That's Why You Don't Wander in Fields at Night, Alone by Alex Snider

*Spoilers ahead*

It seems that Rick et al. got a visit from J Walter Weatherman and he taught them a valuable lesson about the zombie apocalypse using Dale. Unfortunately Dale was sacrificed in said lesson and was eviscerated by a walker before being shot in the head but the others sure learned a lesson! THERE BE ZOMBIES. Next thing you know, there are watches being set up, proper watches not just Andrea looking for an excuse to stroke her gun; everyone is moving into Hershel's magically-fortified farm house; and there are even patrols going around the farm borders. Of course the goons were there mostly to overkill the zombies, as if they had personally just killed the person voted least popular in the group (and I'm including Jimmy). This is such a dire situation for our hapless group of unlikeable survivors that even T-Dog was given lines! Plural! And bantery lines at that! Sheeeeeee-iiiit (I've been watching a lot of The Wire)! That was the most shocking part of this episode and I'm including both the death of Shane and the revelation that all dogs go to heaven dead folk come back as zombies.

Finally, this show is staggering forward at the pace of a starved herd of walkers! In addition to the Mamet-esque like wealth of dialogue from T-Dog, little Carl lost the last shred of innocence. Yawn. Personally, I think that ship had already sailed. Trying to hold on to that kid's innocence, with those parents, in the apocalypse, would be like trying to hold water. I mean, Rick nudged him into grown-up territory even with their little GOP-approved chat about how EVERYONE will die, "your mama, me" and "now, son, take this gun". And no one ever paid attention to him, leaving him to wander freely through the woods, tussling with walkers. Besides, that kid's got dead eyes (when acting! I'm sure he's a lovely boy!). He and the baby from Dexter should have a baby sociopath show.

And then there's Lori. I imagine the writers this week wrote her reconciliation with Shane and were like "fuckin', bitches amirite?", then shot-gunned some tallboys before pulling out their dicks to be measured. (I can play at the gender stereotypes game, too.) It's as if there is a grab-bag of undesirable character traits and actions and she just gets them all, consistency and development be damned because, hey, women are the worst! She has become the Benjamin Button of character development. Next week I bet she'll be pissed at Rick for killing Shane. 

I did love Shane's full on Golem-Smegol turn. All that head-smacking and baring his teeth! The inner anguish! The half-cocked scheming! It is hard to imagine zombie Shane being worse than alive-Shane. At least dead Shane wouldn't use up all the hot water.

Next episode is the finale, and I'm looking forward to hearing Rick explain why he kept the whole "everyone's infected" tidbit to himself (I'm assuming that's what the CDC doctor whispered in his ear and that explains why he was watching Shane so intently after he killed him). I don't see the logic, but I guess that's Rick's tragic flaw: in trying to protect everyone he can be shortsighted. Lori's flaws on the other hand, aren't tragic but selfish and shrewd; the result of two x chromosomes.