Friday Fiction: You Don't Know Me by Alex Snider

There was an episode of The Hills where Lauren Conrad, the ox-eyed heroine of the series, was confronted by wannabe megalomaniac villain Spencer's sister at a club. "You don't know me!" Lauren declared emphatically to sneering Stephanie, sibling to he of the flesh-coloured beard. It was an incredible moment in the series because it showed Conrad doing something other than rolling her eyes. Indeed, much like a fish, long since thought of as dead, that begins flopping around the bottom of the boat (before it gets a few whacks with a paddle), Lauren Conrad showed life that episode. It was beautiful. And who doesn't want to say that to someone in the heat of a confrontation? You don't know me! Real talk. End scene. Drop the mic.

You know who else could say that? All the anonymous narrators/protagonists in this week's Friday Fiction round-up. You know, because they're anonymous.

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Doris and Mona Put a Hot Air Balloon On It (As Related by Wes Anderson) by Alex and Allison

Doris and Mona is a segment brought to you by Alex and her friend Allison and accessories and props from the store they work at. These are the displays they make, and these are their stories. 

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'Breaking Bad' Recap: The Crystal Ship Mutiny? by Alex Snider

asdlfakjhoijlkj!!! I am so excited to be writing about a show that I am love-watching and not hate-watching (here's looking at you, The Walking Dead)! There be spoilers, here!

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The Feminist Identity: An Endangered Species? by Alex Snider

What was it that Hamlet lamented? To be a feminist or not to be? Something like that. I hear you, bro. It's hard, on one hand feminism is why women (of a certain social standing, in certain areas of the world) get to do pretty sweet things like have jobs and drive and vote and use birth control and own property and have access to abortion and have the right to not be raped, even by husbands and have their own bank accounts and get divorced. But on the other hand, ugh, feminists! Such boner killers! They are the worst! YUCK.

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'Walking Dead' Season Three Trailer Posted by Alex

Looks considerably better than last season's mythical forest ennui but lol Entertainment Weekly: "The greatest thriller ever produced for television". Did anyone else have a really hard time figuring out who the blond girl was? It took me the whole trailer to remember Hershel's silent family of extras. Congrats Hershel daughter, you just got more lines than T-Dogg had in the whole second season! But it was nice to see old T-Dogg again although by the looks of it he's gonna get ate or be just as ignored as he was at the farm. Plus Merle's back! Did not see that coming. 

They will eat your soul by Rebekah Hakkenberg

These "anonymous" before and after photos from a plastic surgery website are haunting me. 

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